The Thermostat War

Brian has some control issues.  For instance, He can’t stand to be a passenger in the car and that usually results in fights between us. It isn’t just with me, mind you, he is equally annoying to his mother and to Eve.  My stance being, if you don’t like how I drive then feel free to do so yourself.  However, I only drive when he has been drinking so my theory is he best just shut up.  If he is too drunk to drive then he is too drunk to back seat drive as well.  I have pulled over on more than one occasion and invited him to walk to the rest of the way home while actually planning to back up and run him over repeatedly.  He has declined the offer.  I told him after our last such experience that I was never, ever driving him again so I hope he enjoyed himself, he won’t be drinking when we go anywhere.

I find this aspect of his personality odd since he has only owned a car and driven regularly since 2002 or so when he moved to Florida.  Previously he lived in Queens, NY and took the subway.  I point out that in that amount of time he has had a few fender benders and I have had…oh, how many?  let me think, that’s right.  One. Ever. Snow related, involving myself and a utility pole and it was 23 years ago.  I have been driving on a daily basis for a hell of a lot longer.  He offered once to give me driving lessons and that was when the repeatedly running him over thought first came to mind.

Now we have an ongoing battle about the thermostat.  I’m home all day and I work while I am here.  Also, the work is often physical.  I get hot.  Sewing, you would be surprised to hear, is sweaty business.  Mainly because I am standing over an iron or a heat press and then while sewing I have layers of fabric draped on my lap.  Glass is a similar situation, standing to drill and cut and the soldering iron is a touch on the warm side.  I don’t think it is too much to ask that the house stay at 76 degrees.  I feel that is pretty perfect day or night.  Plus, I take medication that makes me hot.  So you know, work with me a little, right?

I will be in the middle of a project, hands covered with whatever the medium is for the day and I will have sweat in my eyes.  By the time it occurs to me to check the temp in the house I am already hot and pissed off and covered in gunk.  I will look and see it’s over 80.  Why?  Because Brian turned the AC off.  I sigh, I wipe my hands and I turn it back on and set it to 76.  Somehow, after he gets home from work he manages to sneak back over and turn it back up to 80.  I don’t ever SEE him do it and he will lie to my damn face about it too.  I will look at the thermostat and see he turned it back up.

This has been an ongoing situation for 8 years.  Finally, last week, I issued a new law.  It’s the “don’t touch the thermostat or I will cut your hands off and stick them in epoxy” law.  He agreed to the 76 degrees.  No hotter, no cooler.  It doesn’t need to be 72 in the house at night.  It also don’t need to be 68 in the house on the odd day that it gets cold down here and he has turned off the heat.  76.  Middle ground.  Everyone is happy.  He agreed to this, admittedly, probably under duress cause he is rather fond of his hands.  We did the whole song and dance again last night before dinner.  Seriously?  Just now I looked at the thermostat out of habit.  He has it set at 77.  He is like a damned toddler pushing his luck!one degree…just to get that last jab in.

Have you ever noticed that the parts of someone’s personality that drive you nutty  are  the parts most similuar to your own?

In retaliation I went through the house and turned on every light – even in the rooms I’m not using.  Then I told him I did it.  Because that will KILL him, it will drive him absolutely nuts and there isn’t anything he can do about it.

So which one of us has the control issues?  I oh, yeah, both of us.  And that is where things tend to get really interesting.