Gabrielle has lost her mind. And also, apparently, her brain stem.

See that picture up top?  That was  Gabrielle back when she was not trying to drive me to drink. A more current image is featured below. Things have been somewhat hectic here.  The kids are off school all week which means I am at their beck and call.  Also, it seems that Gabrielle has recently lost her mind.  She is telling all of us, when she is actually speaking, that her brain stem fell out, that Brian caused it to fall out and that he ‘basically murdered’ her.  She claims she has brain cancer in her ear and that she accidentally vomited her brain out.  She won’t listen to reason.  I even brought her to the doctor who confirmed that she is not sick, just nuts.  The doctor explained that she cannot accidentally swallow her brain and burst out laughing when I mentioned her brain stem and then apologized.  I forget that this crap is funny after about the second week of it.  I told the doctor that the only complaint Gabrielle has actually made is that her pulse hurts.  The doctor said “I don’t know what that means.” Yeah, well that makes two of us.   So Gabrielle refuses to swallow because she may accidentally swallow more of her brain and walks around just sort of grounding and gesturing. Until her mouth is so full of saliva that she spits it out.  Twice that has been on my feet.  So a good time has been had by all around here.  Also, her Elf, Candy Cane has apparently performed brain surgery and saved her life and also, Gabs has taken to texting and messaging everyone she can find to say that she needs to be rushed to the ER because her brain is going to fall out and that I won’t believe her.  So, if you got one of those messages and I have not reassured you yet that she is not dying, she is not dying.  Also, sorry.  I took all her electronics away to avoid further harassment.

This is the part that will make all the other parents feel awesome and superior.  Gabrielle has also been walking around the house having conversations with people ( I don’t see them, she doesn’t see them, but she apparently hears them.  Yes, we have an appointment with a psychiatrist.) about what a bad parent I am.  It’s similar to the Harry Potter/ Kreacher the house elf relationship.  Kreacher walks around talking smack about Harry and his friends where they can totally hear him.  That’s currently my life.DH_Kreacher_concept_artwork01


Gabrielle has been asking me why I don’t believe her (she won’t listen to reason or look at pictures of the brain or anything.  She gets really mad when I try to show her.) and why I don’t – and I quote- “fear for her life.”  I will admit that I have maybe told her that SHE should fear for her life because she is about to push me over the edge and that Eve is at the end of her rope.  She keeps showing me (and everyone she has messaged – she sends pictures and videos.  Yeah, again, sorry about that.  I thought she was listening to music.) her life line as proof that she is dying of this brain issue.  I don’t even know where she GOT any of this.  She doesn’t watch the Walking Dead or anything.  She watches Pre School shows if anything.  The life line discussion has been going on for years.  I don’t know where she got that from either, but I may or may not have threatened to shorten her life line myself if she asked about it again.  I can neither confirm nor deny this.

So that’s what is new in the land of confusion.  Thank Goodness Etsy has been somewhat slow because the busier I look the more disruptive Gabrielle becomes.  If you don’t hear from me it is because I got a new jacket.  The white kind.  Without sleeves.  White is totally not my color but the padded room I will be staying in sounds lovely.

On a different note, I have not gotten a lot done in the way of art or craft because I can’t take my eyes off Gabs too much since she has also tried to escape and go to the neighbor’s for help.  I have been sticking to mainly projects that can be put down if I need to bolt for the door and that don’t require loud machinery.  So I have a couple bracelets and some necklaces either in or going into my Etsy shop.


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